I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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