ya dads aren't the best wingmen
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
