He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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