Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
