Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
