That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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