I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
