I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
