tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
