I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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