life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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