so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
