I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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