the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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