We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
