You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
