atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
