4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
