When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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