I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
