yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
