Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
