Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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