she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
