Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
