He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
