Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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