i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
