I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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