I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
