omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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