He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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