Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
