Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
