Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
