Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
