Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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