my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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