You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
