used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
