so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
