when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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