I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
