Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
