I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
