Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
