def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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