she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
