i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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