I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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