You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He better not be in your backpack
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
