I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
