Just fell off a train. Bad.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Boobs speak an international language.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
