I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
