went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
